Princess of Power

There's a huge television in the break room that is almost always on. Sometimes I have to work overtimes on Saturdays and the show line up is different than on weekdays. This lucily means that sometimes we get to watch some interesting stuff. The last time I worked a Saturday we watched She-Ra Princess of Power and Ozzie and Harriet. I hadn't seen She-Ra since I was part of their target demographic and so watched with that mix of gleeful nostalgia and uncomfortable dissapointment that it is much cornier, choppier and poorly drawn than I remember. Either way She-Ra made break a little more pallatable than our usuall breaktime entertainment fare.

During weekdays the shows are mostly talk shows riddled with drama about unclear paternity, fidelity or gender. That's tiring enough as it is, but some of the shows get into some darker topics and those are hard to sit through. The darker topics generally involve abuse of some sort. The toughest ones are when the victim is a child and sometimes horrific detail is gone into. I have the hardest time with those. This is partly because of the subject matter, but also partly because we are watching/ignoring it during our brief 10 or 15 minute break. Casual discussions about general life topics (mostly hunting this time of year) are going on at one end of the table, and at the other end of the table people on the t.v. are screaming at each other over something terrible. I'm not saying that I think the guys I work with are callous- I don't think that's what's going on. I think there's a level of desensitization they're at and I think that reguarding this as entertainment is part of the cultural waters they swim in. Not sure if I'm doing a good job at it, but part of what I'm trying to say is that it is not my intention to be snobby while at the same time assert that I am bothered by these shows.

The other thing that is particularly hard about these shows is the occational reactions/comments of the guys. I always feel caught off guard by them when they veer into sexist/racist/bigoted. Today's show featured women who were being abused and controlled by their partners. One of the first comments made by one of the guys was that it was partly her fault because she was staying in the relationship. She detailed the physical and psycological abuse by her boyfriend, including rape and isolation and how it made her feel. She would peridically brake into tears as she spoke and the abrupt starts/stops of her crying prompted a few comments that she must be faking it. Then they started imitating her crying.

When stuff like this gets going, I don't know what to do. I bring in books to read, but sometimes it's hard to ignore the television and the banter. I've begun taking my breaks in the weld cell when these sorts of shows are on.

The thing that is a little tricky for me is trying not to appear as if I don't desire community with the folks I work with. Which is an odd sort of question since being part of the community very possibly means at least tolerating if not participating in the consumption of this media and the banter that accompanies it. But at the same time, it's not as though that's everything that's going on with these people either. They have hobbies and families and such, so it's somewhat frustrating that there are a few things I feel prevent me from feeling more integrated into the group.

The Prettiest Girl in the Room

For the most part guys in class and at work don't assume I'm there looking for a date and treat me like a classmate/fellow worker. Once in a while though, a fella likes to try and turn the charm on. Sometimes this is annoying, sometimes it's funny, often a bit of both.

In class during clean up:
Guy, "What's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?"
Me, "Uh... Welding."
... You know, like you do in a welding shop during your welding class. This one was pretty funny and they guy probably could have turned it into a fun interaction instead of the (funny on my end only) awkward flop it turned out to be. The most annoying flirtation I've been the target of what a guy that wouldn't leave off the attempts to spark up conversation while I was uber-focused on a piece with a deadline coming down hard and fast. It began with him confessing that his innocent shop question was an excuse to talk to me, and ended with me being very clear and direct that I really needed to work. He told me that he didn't know how to act around pretty girls. That's fine, dude. But it's not my problem; my problem is that you keep interrupting me while I'm working. He got the message and left off, which was a good thing because I was annoyed enough to really tear into him if clear-and-direct was not clear-and-direct enough. Don't get between a Ruby and her project when she's got a deadline coming up!

Mostly I can't complain. It hasn't ever taken much to get a flirty guy to back off if he's being annoying or interrupting me in classes or at work. I don't blame people for flirting, and only in a very small number of instances have I felt I really needed to give more than the casual dodge and be clear that the attention was not appreciated. I don't see the point in shutting friendly flirtations down if there seems to be no actual interest (I think some people just don't have many social skills when it comes to the opposite sex beyond flirting with them), and I don't see the point in really drawing a hard line and risking hurting someones feelings/pride or embarrassing them if there is real interest conveyed and it's not uncomfortable for me. Interest isn't a bad thing, just not respecting limits or not accepting a lack of interest returned that is problematic.

One joke I've liked to make in the past though- that I think I'll be more careful about- is that, in these solid male environments, I get to be the prettiest girl in the room. I think this is a funny joke. Slightly self-deprecating, mostly vain conniving. I like it. However, making it outside of class/work with my friends generally gets a good laugh, making it in class or at work seems like an invite for compliments/flirting/comparison.

I made the joke at work the other day and one of the guys said, "hell, maybe in the whole plant" and he and another guy started listing off the few other women we work with. I replied that I wasn't interested in actual competition with other women and that I just thought it was a funny thing to say and jeeze guys now I'm a little sorry I said it. A similar thing happened in class (machining class) where I told my joke and one of the guys said that I was probably the prettiest girl in a lot of rooms. Again, not interested in actually competing with other women on looks, blah blah blah. All of this, of course, said through my awkward blushing that probably reads as I-can't-take-a-compliment instead of the I-can't-tell-a-joke-now-he-thinks-I'm-fishing-for-a-compliment that I actually felt. So I'm going to use that joke more carefully in the future.

So, flirting. I guess the lesson is that yes it happens, it's not a big deal usually, nothing has happened I couldn't easily squash if I feel the need and sometimes it's my fault because what are sometimes funny jokes are sometimes invites. Actual harassment is a different issue, but that's also a different blog post.

Dirty Work

The company I work for has a strict anti-harassment policy and issues are dealt with swiftly and unambiguously, much to their credit. And people take it very seriously. This is a nice protection as a woman in the minority there, but it makes some interactions interesting. The fellow that trains me much of the time- let's call him 'Brad'- told me that once someone overheard an exchange between two workers in which one seemed to be speaking inappropriately to the other, and reported it as harassment on behalf of the percieved victim. The offender in this case was diciplined accordingly. This has worried Brad a bit when it comes to training me.

The thing about Brad is that I really like him. Brad is a big guy with a big personality to match. He's been friendly and encouraging since I arrived. A few weeks after I started there I discovered that my boyfriend used to work for him. He tells me that Brad's "rough around the edges" but over all a good guy who's not afraid to stick up for himself or others. To call him "rough around the edges" is a cute way to put it.

So, to set the scene, aluminium TIG runs on alternating current (AC) for it, and AC is loud. Brad and I are in a welding booth, helmets down, arc struck and he is yelling at me over the AC buzz, "Wait til it's nice and wet. There ya go, now shove the rod in. Nice and easy. Okay now hammer it!". Writing it out makes it sound like I'm describing a SNL skit, but I promise you that all this is legitimate welding lingo.   We know this, but it makes him nervous.

He talked to our supervisor about it and again to me when he came back from break. As much as I like Brad, I'm not sure what he thinks I think of him. I'm fairly quiet in new situations. I like to watch people for a while and it takes time before I warm up and get chatty. This means I come off as shy (although I don't feel like that's an accurate word for it) and it also means that people sometimes are overly careful of making me comfortable or including me since they have a hard time reading if I'm comfortable or having a good time. I don't do this on purpose, but I think it had Brad wondering if he was perhaps making me uncomfortable without realizing it or meaning to.

Wussin' it up

Last Wednesday I injured my thumb. It's not a terrible injury and doesn't even look like much. I dropped a tank and the first knuckle on my thumb was scissored between the two parts as the top end fell. When I pulled my glove off- shocked and hurt and swearing- I found a small bloody scrape and what looked like a tiny balloon inflating under my skin. I went to get ice and my supervisor and within a few minutes I couldn't move it. Long story short, I went to the clinic and an x-ray revealed that it's not broken, but it is sprained and I was put on light-duty for the week and will hopefully be back to normal pending my follow up check up.

It had the courtesy to develop a dull green bruise over the weekend, but aside from the bulky black splint I've been wearing it looks completely normal. It doesn't even really hurt if I leave it alone, I just can't bend it very far. Only one of the guys at work has suggested I'm being a baby about it. The rest have been simpathetic, or at least not made a big deal over it. But that one little suggestion that I'm over blowing it stings a bit.

It stings partly because it's the accusation I was afraid of when I opted to go to the clinic. The other part is that it feels true in a logic-defying kind of way. Maybe saying it feels true isn't accurate. Maybe I should say that I too feel as though- with hardly any pain and hardly any bruising to speak of- I should be able to work normally. It's hard because I know I'm not as physically strong as most of them; I think that they think I'm not as tough as them; and they don't know that this is the first time I've ever had something like this looked at because I honestly thought it might be broken. It's bothersome to think that the guys are thinking I'm a wuss and only one is saying so. I'm sure a lot of it is in my head, but hey- that's what we're talking about here anyways, right? I comfort myself saying that I really do need to rest it and that one guy is just being a jerk, but it's hard not to feel defensive. It is frustrating that this tiny little injury is slowing me down. Hopefully it will heal fast, I've got things I want to do.

Getting to know your friendly neighborhood welder

This is a little background about me and how I got started in welding.

I grew up in a little town in rural mid-Michigan. My dad is a sculptor and exhibits designer and has always had a lot of projects going. He used to take me with him to his job sites and workshop. I would want to do what he was doing and some of my earliest memories are of being given a pile of cut up boards of insulating foam, a box of nails and a hammer. The foam was soft enough that I could pound nails through it and I would ask for pieces as needed for my projects. I moved on to using a flat head screwdriver as a chisel to pound out simple designs in the pieces of scrap wood that came in the flower boxes my uncle delivered. These sorts of projects and others were my introduction to hand skills. I don't remember when he switched me over to power tools and real materials, but I was fairly young.

Ever since then I've always been making something. I've always liked studios and shops and tools and materials. I get a little thrill out of new tools and have bought ones I don't know the function of simply because I liked the look of them. I like seeing racks of steel stock and smelling the oil and rust. I'm a sucker for big unwieldy pieces of metal or wood or big bags of wool or bolts of cloth waiting to be turned into something. I love the transformation and I love learning new skills.

All this led me into art school. I had a few jobs that taught me new skills over my college years (I say that as thought they're over- ha!) and my sculpture practice centered on my metalworking and seamstress skills along with a lot of mixed-media ideas. I finally graduated with a Bachelors in Fine Arts from Grand Valley State University and was diverted from my do-or-die working artist path by falling in love. Falling in love by itself isn't a huge game-changer except that in this case I fell in love with a guy who had two children attending school in this area. So I stayed. That in itself is a whole different storyline, but the short version is that plans changed.

My boyfriend was working as a welder around the time we began dating, and the money was pretty dang good since he was (at the time) traveling for work. I had a little exposure to welding through the art program and really enjoyed metal work in general. We discovered a grant program that helped people get extra training to make them more employable in their field- or hopeful field. I wanted to do the welding program at Grand Rapids Community College- had thought about it for a while- and this was my chance. When actually faced with a semester of classes on top of work, I hesitated, but the boyfriend talked me into it.

I went into it clearly stating that I did not want to work in industrial welding- this was part of my artistic skills development and would look great next to my bachelors degree in sculpture. I worked at jobs that were interesting, with people I admired at tasks I believed in. But the thing about these sorts of jobs is that they don't always pay a lot. One of my professors got word of a shop hiring welders to do aluminum TIG, suggested I apply, and put in a good word for me. And here I am.

I have been with my company about six months now and don't have much to complain about. It's the cleanest metals shop I've ever been in and they take organization and safety very seriously. The work isn't always super exciting, but I'm about 800% better at aluminum TIG than I as six months ago.

I think that brings the story up to speed. Hopefully this provides background for where I'm coming  from when I share my stories, but feel free to ask if anything needs fleshing out.

Female Welders versus Bigfoot

Since I began welding professionally, I have met many people who tell me I'm the first/only female welder they know. I often don't know what to do with this comment and have to resist getting crass in my response since it seems so obvious to me that my biological sex should have nothing to do with my ability to weld. I.e. It's hard to resist bluntly pointing out that men don't use their penis' to weld. I'll say this if I think I can get a laugh without offending sensibilities- it's an efficient way to put it- but it's usually inappropriate.

However, it is fair that there aren't a lot of us to meet. A friend in class asked me the other night to guess what percentage of welders in the US were women. I though about female enrollment in my welding classes (often I'm the only one, sometimes there's two of us and on rare occation three) and guessed maybe 15%. Not a lot, but there have to be more female welders than, say, Bigfoot sightings, right? He googled it from his smartphone and came up with 6%. I've done a little skimming research since then and the numbers I can find go as low as 2% and not above 6%. More skimming research tells me there's around 400 Bigfoot sightings a year. Not sure how this breaks down in percentages to compare, but from my layperson's perspective I did anticipate more female welders and fewer Bigfoot sightings.

It's occurred to me lately that I'm also just about the only first/only female welder I know. I'm nearly through the Associates Degree program in Welding Technology at Grand Rapids Community College, and I did meet two other women in the program who are working in the field but haven't maintained contact with either of them. I'm involved in arts circles and did my BFA in sculpture, so I do know many women who can weld, but it's not their field of focus. So I guess I'm my own "only woman welder I know". This means I don't get another woman's perspective when I have experiences that are related to my gender. This means that the men in my field don't have much experience working with women who weld and don't know what that environment is like from a woman's point of view. This also means that many people outside of the industry don't have any example of a woman welder or what her experience would be like (unless Flashdance is really good on this point- I haven't seen it yet). However, I haven't met anyone who thinks I can't do it- that my gender would negatively affect my abilities- so the imagination is there.

I'm setting up this blog with the idea that I can be the woman welder you know, dear reader. My dream audience is men in welding/manufacturing who want to understand their fellow workers perspective; women in welding/manufacturing (or who are thinking of entering the field) who would like more stories to think about and might find my experiences to be supportive; and those outside the field who are curious about gendered issues, labor issues or are simply seeking to broaden their worldview. My dream blog will hopefully give these dream audiences what they're looking for. To keep the stories mine as much as possible, I'm not going to use the real names of the other people involved and I'm not going to name the company I work for. Not that this would be super hard to figure out if someone really wanted to, but I'm looking to share stories and I wouldn't want it to turn into gossip or seem unprofessional of me. It'll be truthful on my part, but it will be the truth as told from my specific perspective. I'll also make sure to see Flashdance at some point and write a review, and I'll keep an eye out for Bigfoot.