Wussin' it up

Last Wednesday I injured my thumb. It's not a terrible injury and doesn't even look like much. I dropped a tank and the first knuckle on my thumb was scissored between the two parts as the top end fell. When I pulled my glove off- shocked and hurt and swearing- I found a small bloody scrape and what looked like a tiny balloon inflating under my skin. I went to get ice and my supervisor and within a few minutes I couldn't move it. Long story short, I went to the clinic and an x-ray revealed that it's not broken, but it is sprained and I was put on light-duty for the week and will hopefully be back to normal pending my follow up check up.

It had the courtesy to develop a dull green bruise over the weekend, but aside from the bulky black splint I've been wearing it looks completely normal. It doesn't even really hurt if I leave it alone, I just can't bend it very far. Only one of the guys at work has suggested I'm being a baby about it. The rest have been simpathetic, or at least not made a big deal over it. But that one little suggestion that I'm over blowing it stings a bit.

It stings partly because it's the accusation I was afraid of when I opted to go to the clinic. The other part is that it feels true in a logic-defying kind of way. Maybe saying it feels true isn't accurate. Maybe I should say that I too feel as though- with hardly any pain and hardly any bruising to speak of- I should be able to work normally. It's hard because I know I'm not as physically strong as most of them; I think that they think I'm not as tough as them; and they don't know that this is the first time I've ever had something like this looked at because I honestly thought it might be broken. It's bothersome to think that the guys are thinking I'm a wuss and only one is saying so. I'm sure a lot of it is in my head, but hey- that's what we're talking about here anyways, right? I comfort myself saying that I really do need to rest it and that one guy is just being a jerk, but it's hard not to feel defensive. It is frustrating that this tiny little injury is slowing me down. Hopefully it will heal fast, I've got things I want to do.