The Prettiest Girl in the Room

For the most part guys in class and at work don't assume I'm there looking for a date and treat me like a classmate/fellow worker. Once in a while though, a fella likes to try and turn the charm on. Sometimes this is annoying, sometimes it's funny, often a bit of both.

In class during clean up:
Guy, "What's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?"
Me, "Uh... Welding."
... You know, like you do in a welding shop during your welding class. This one was pretty funny and they guy probably could have turned it into a fun interaction instead of the (funny on my end only) awkward flop it turned out to be. The most annoying flirtation I've been the target of what a guy that wouldn't leave off the attempts to spark up conversation while I was uber-focused on a piece with a deadline coming down hard and fast. It began with him confessing that his innocent shop question was an excuse to talk to me, and ended with me being very clear and direct that I really needed to work. He told me that he didn't know how to act around pretty girls. That's fine, dude. But it's not my problem; my problem is that you keep interrupting me while I'm working. He got the message and left off, which was a good thing because I was annoyed enough to really tear into him if clear-and-direct was not clear-and-direct enough. Don't get between a Ruby and her project when she's got a deadline coming up!

Mostly I can't complain. It hasn't ever taken much to get a flirty guy to back off if he's being annoying or interrupting me in classes or at work. I don't blame people for flirting, and only in a very small number of instances have I felt I really needed to give more than the casual dodge and be clear that the attention was not appreciated. I don't see the point in shutting friendly flirtations down if there seems to be no actual interest (I think some people just don't have many social skills when it comes to the opposite sex beyond flirting with them), and I don't see the point in really drawing a hard line and risking hurting someones feelings/pride or embarrassing them if there is real interest conveyed and it's not uncomfortable for me. Interest isn't a bad thing, just not respecting limits or not accepting a lack of interest returned that is problematic.

One joke I've liked to make in the past though- that I think I'll be more careful about- is that, in these solid male environments, I get to be the prettiest girl in the room. I think this is a funny joke. Slightly self-deprecating, mostly vain conniving. I like it. However, making it outside of class/work with my friends generally gets a good laugh, making it in class or at work seems like an invite for compliments/flirting/comparison.

I made the joke at work the other day and one of the guys said, "hell, maybe in the whole plant" and he and another guy started listing off the few other women we work with. I replied that I wasn't interested in actual competition with other women and that I just thought it was a funny thing to say and jeeze guys now I'm a little sorry I said it. A similar thing happened in class (machining class) where I told my joke and one of the guys said that I was probably the prettiest girl in a lot of rooms. Again, not interested in actually competing with other women on looks, blah blah blah. All of this, of course, said through my awkward blushing that probably reads as I-can't-take-a-compliment instead of the I-can't-tell-a-joke-now-he-thinks-I'm-fishing-for-a-compliment that I actually felt. So I'm going to use that joke more carefully in the future.

So, flirting. I guess the lesson is that yes it happens, it's not a big deal usually, nothing has happened I couldn't easily squash if I feel the need and sometimes it's my fault because what are sometimes funny jokes are sometimes invites. Actual harassment is a different issue, but that's also a different blog post.